There isn’t any sports activities motion I detest greater than celeb boxing. I’m not going to clutch pearls over the way it destroys the “sanctity of the candy science,” or something like that — although I completely perceive if die-hard boxing followers really feel that method. Moderately, my gripe stems from the truth that it’s simply extremely dumb and boring.
The worst half if seeing folks have to faux like this can be a actual sport. You may pull up superior stats on the punch charge from Jake Paul, as an example, loving put collectively by somebody who loves the internal workings of boxing, however has to cut back their craft to pointless nonsense. Clearly there’s ludicrous curiosity in seeing in case your favourite YouTuber may even final a spherical with Floyd Mayweather, which is why folks purchase these PPVs — however it additionally means we see stuff like this.
There must be a greater option to settle pretend on-line beef in an actual enviornment, whereas satiating our thirst for violence. Superstar slapping is the best way. The UFC’s Dana White is bringing the “Energy Slap League” to america subsequent 12 months, with different slap-based occasions collaborating up to now.
It’s precisely what you suppose it’s. Simply two folks hauling off and slapping one another as onerous as they will. It’s the baking present Nailed It! equal to the UFC’s British Bake Off. Straightforward to eat violent hilarity, that doesn’t actually require athletic prowess past slapping somebody — and realizing the place to slap somebody.
I don’t have a selected need to look at influencers, YouTubers and former NFL gamers dance round a boxing ring pretending like they know how you can throw a punch. I do, nonetheless, have a protracted checklist of influencers, YouTubers and former NFL gamers I’d like to see get the shit slapped out of them.
Positive, there are critics and legit considerations about slap preventing. At excessive ranges we’re speaking about hulking brutes putting one another as onerous as attainable with ungloved arms, leading to plenty of horrific knockouts. Like boxing although, I don’t suppose random “celebrities” will be capable of hit that onerous, so it’ll simply be an opportunity to see them slap one another.
This was we will protect the game of boxing, transfer the sideshow to a sideshow sport, and guarantee we really see a few of humanity’s most annoying folks hit one another for actual within the face, the best way God supposed.
I don’t understand how we make this occur. Usually I’d counsel Tweeting at Dana White or one thing, however given the best way Twitter is spiraling round the bathroom bowl I don’t know if there’ll nonetheless be a website by the point slap preventing turns into a factor. In any occasion, for now it’ll simply be a dream. An exquisite, magical dream.